I'll Be Your Shoulder
by AstroPhantom
Summary: Coran is always there for Allura and does not take his title of entrusted advisor lightly. But being strong for someone else doesn't necessarily make your own problems go away so easily...


**I'll Be Your Shoulder**

* * *

Everyone had been asleep for hours now. Hunk, Pidge, Lance, Keith, Shiro. Allura. The mice, and even the lions, if such a thing could be said about them. With as silent as it was, it felt like the whole _universe_ was asleep.

All except for one.

Coran was normally the first to insist everyone needed to get enough rest. And tonight, it seemed like everyone had listened to him without protest and conked out the moment their heads hit their pillows, save for himself.

It wasn't for lack of trying, he knew that much.

But for every tick that went by where his brain refused to process that his eyes were closed for the night, the more frustrated he got just laying in his bed, staring up at the vaulted ceiling above him. So he begrudgingly vacated his bed, quietly checked that everyone else was still asleep - _lucky them_ \- and made his way down the hall to the bridge.

The bridge lit up in a dim neon purple and blue when Coran passed through the sliding doors. He took his time entering the room, scratching at his mustache and making sure that the castle's systems and autopilot were functioning properly.

When he finally got to the front of the room, at his own station, he stared up at the tall bay windows that revealed the vast expanse of space before them. Even after 10,600-plus years of existing, the view of the universe at his fingertips never failed to leave him breathless, when he had a chance to really soak it in.

But tonight, it pricked at a lonely part of him. He took a few steps back and activated the castle's holographic map of the universe, pinpointing exactly where Altea used to float. Other stars and planets danced blissfully unaware around the spot. Coran then stepped back even further to sit at the edge of Allura's post, much like Lance had a few days earlier during the party for the Arusians.

He rested his elbows on his knees and let out a depressed sigh that seemed to crush his heart. It felt like he'd barely had a few spare ticks to himself since he and Allura had woken up from the sleeping pods.

Everything had occurred so quickly. Waking up - after 10,000 years - to a group of strange Earthling faces. Realizing with Allura that they were the last two Alteans left. Training the strange Earthlings to fight together as Voltron. Saving the Arusians - twice. Almost dying from the Galran attack were it not for Lance. Saving the Balmerans. Fighting to save the castle from the Galran crystal.

Losing the memory of King Alfor just today…

No. He was Coran. Coran the "Coranic." Coran the advisor to Princess Allura and trainer of the Voltron paladins. He was lucky to just have those few spare ticks.

But he was tired. Tired and hurting, especially after today. He knew he had to be strong for Allura, even after she had turned her mind towards defeating Zarkon once and for all with a vengeance. He'd put on the brave face for her, as always.

But…he missed King Alfor as well. Granted, his A.I. system filled with his memories was chiefly for Allura's benefit, so Coran hadn't really used it himself. But he'd been close to the king when he was still alive. _He'd_ even been the one to download his memories and, in turn, Alfor's face was the last he saw as he was loaded into the sleeping pod. Having his memory on board the ship made it feel like he was still near.

But now it felt like a whole other piece of Altea had been taken away again…

Coran clenched his hands into fists and stared at the floor between his feet. Zarkon had destroyed nearly everything that was left of Altea. Only the castle, the mice, Voltron, and Allura remained to remind him of home.

He glanced up at the universe in front of him, both at the real one out the windows and the holographic map in the room with him. Even with the vast knowledge he held of numerous worlds and star systems, the whole cosmos seemed so small and empty right then. _He_ felt small and empty. None of these planets belonged to him anymore. The only one he wanted was a currently empty hole of space in the digital map before him.

Coran stared at the spot longingly, as if sheer willpower alone could restore the magnificent planet he once called home. Nothing.

Suddenly something fell off the tip of his nose, and then slid down his cheek. He'd started crying at some point while alone with the universe.

"Oh quiznak…" he muttered, rubbing the back of his wrist across his face.

But he couldn't stop the silent tears as they continued to fall. He tried to concentrate on his toes as the stress of everything overtook him, and his shoulders shook in defiance of his usually composed posture.

"…Coran?"

Coran's body froze up. Allura's voice had wafted across the bridge from the door almost undetected. He covertly wiped at his eyes again before looking over his shoulder at the princess. She was wearing her nightgown, and her face still carried a hint of sleepy disorientation.

"Princess, I…didn't hear you come in." It almost didn't seem right that she was awake at all. The universe was still supposed to be asleep.

Allura closed the space between them and stood at his side, shrugging her shoulders. "One of the mice woke me up, so I was going to get some Nunvill to help me fall asleep again, but then I saw the light on the bridge." She gave him a casual smile, but then frowned. "Wait, Coran…have you been crying?"

Guess he wasn't good at covering up that fact. But he couldn't let Allura know he had been. Alfor had entrusted him to be strong for his daughter. She needed someone she could rely on when _she_ needed a shoulder to cry on.

Yet the crack in the first syllable of Coran's response gave him away. "I-I…no," he lied, looking at his toes again.

The princess sat down next to him, bringing a hand up to the back of his shoulder. "Coran," she pressed.

"Yeah…" he admitted, giving a slow nod. He barely glanced at her before looking ahead, his fingers starting to tap against each other.

"Why?"

He nearly winced at the concern in her voice. "It's just that…it's just…" Coran trailed off. This had been so much easier to explain to Lance, when he was doing the comforting. But now he didn't want to bother the princess. She was dealing with everything he was, and more. He shook his head. "I can't…"

Allura gently rubbed his shoulder to reassure him, asking, "What do you mean?" She sounded more awake now, but still spoke softly.

He checked her over from the corner of his eye, then let out a deep sigh. He didn't want to tell her. "It wouldn't be fair to you," he explained. "You've been through so much in the past week alone, I can't go adding my troubles to yours."

"Coran!" Allura sounded surprised yet determined at the same time. "It's okay. Most of what I've been through is the same as what you've been through." Coran opened his mouth as if to interject, but she cut him off. "I know you're my advisor, but that doesn't mean any of this has to be easy for you either."

She grabbed his hand hanging over his knee and gave it a squeeze of encouragement. In that moment, Coran was convinced it wasn't just the mice she shared a mental connection with.

The steady thrum of the ship's consoles filled the silence for a few ticks. Everything seemed calm around him, but inside his thoughts felt turbulent. As he tried to organize them, he stared at her hand on his. Hers seemed deceptively delicate, but he knew better. He squeezed her hand in return.

He finally nodded and swallowed, but even so his feelings were difficult to articulate, and he simply ended up saying, "I just miss Altea so much."

"I know, Coran," she agreed, then softer, "I know."

"And then with King Alfor today, it feels like everything's being taken away from us. It was heartbreaking to watch his A.I. die out, I can't even imagine what it was like for you having to shut him down."

He didn't miss the way her face cringed in pain at the memory, and he sighed in regret, then continued.

"But he was my best friend. We grew up together…" Coran was grateful his mustache covered his lower lip as it quivered. "Between him and Altea, I don't think I could stand to see Zarkon take anything or _anyone_ else away."

He purposefully gripped Allura's hand again at the end of his confession. His eyes, completely devoid of their usual cheer, were starting to well up once more, and he tried to sniff back the oncoming tears with little success.

"Me neither," Allura agreed, trying her best to not let his tears get to her as she put on her brave face. "But we mustn't lose hope, Coran. Voltron _will_ defeat Zarkon and the Galran empire. I just know it."

"I know they will, too." He then felt his throat begin to choke up with his next sentence. "But none of it could ever bring back Altea."

Allura's spirit seemed to falter from his words as she let out a longing sigh, and Coran instantly regretted saying them, despite the tears now steadily making their way down his face. He decided to focus on the map in front of him again.

They both sat in sorrowful silence for a few minutes as they watched the holographic planets and stars revolve around them. Allura was the first to speak up, her voice a little shakier than before.

"I…I forgot what juniberries actually smell like," she admitted softly.

He turned to her with incredulous eyes, unsure that he'd heard her correctly. "What?"

She leaned her head against his shoulder, her hand still resting comfortingly in his. "When you saved me earlier from the corrupted A.I.'s deception by asking me where the fragrance of the juniberries was, I knew it was supposed to be there if they were real, but they weren't. And now I can't remember their actual scent at all. It's…it's been so long."

Coran nodded understandingly. He only had a faint impression of the smell in his mind, but he knew he'd be hard-pressed to find anything sweeter. If he could, he would bring real juniberries to Allura by the armful.

She continued to speak, "I also miss dancing, and all the parties we used to host here in the castle. Father reminded me of them when he brought me to the ballroom earlier. Do you remember them?"

"I do," he whispered, gently leaning his head on top of hers. Her presence was very comforting. "I remember how truly happy you were when dancing."

"Do you miss dancing?"

Despite himself, Coran almost chuckled. "Yeah. Yeah I do." He could even picture the two of them dancing together at some of the parties.

He rubbed his hand over his eyes again, catching the last few tears. Coran would give anything to be back at one of those parties right then. No wars to speak of. Just people having a good time, eating extravagant foods and dancing to their heart's content.

Coran suddenly smiled weakly and, without giving it much thought, slipped his shoulder out from under Allura's head to stand up and turn around to face her. He chivalrously held out his hand, which had been nestled in hers not moments ago, and asked, "Care to dance?"

Allura jumped back in surprise at the request, a slight blush rising on her cheeks. She gazed at his hand, then followed his arm up to lock eyes with him. He looked so tired and worn out from the emotions of the night, and still so desperately sad, but that reassuring glint of energy, of _Coran_ , was back, however small.

Of course, she was eager to oblige his request, for both their sakes. Only one small problem.

"But there's no music!"

Coran barely nudged his shoulders in a shrug. "Consider it practice."

Allura paused as she thought it over, then grabbed his hand and allowed herself to be pulled up so she was eye-level with him.

He led them over a few steps so they had room and were surrounded by the holograms. Celestial bodies sparkled in their eyes. He placed a gentle hand on her hip as she mirrored him with one of hers on his shoulder, then they intertwined their free hands together.

As Coran set them off into a simple, silent rhythm of steps in a little circle, it was clear both Alteans were in no need of practice. As members of royal society, they'd both been taught how to dance at early ages.

The act itself seemed to serve its greater purpose, however, when Allura's lips broke into a wide, nostalgic grin. She truly loved dancing, and Coran was grateful to see her enjoying it once more.

"You know, I'm actually feeling a little better now," he shared, spinning her out then back in. "I think the dancing's helping."

Allura's features seemed flustered from the spin, only causing her to smile even more. "It always does."

He chuckled at this, still keeping track of the invisible beat that led their feet. Despite the silence, nothing felt awkward about what they were doing. It felt natural. It almost felt like home.

"Perhaps we should 'practice' more often, then," he offered.

"Perhaps we should," she agreed. Suddenly she gripped his hand in hers tightly. "WAIT!"

Coran startled, but quickly regained his composure. He observed Allura, watching as her eyes glistened excitedly from the thoughts running through her head. He raised an eyebrow at her, prodding her to continue.

"I've got an idea!" she began, her fingers squeezing his shoulder. " _When_ Voltron defeats Zarkon and the Galrans, we should hold a party for the paladins, just like we used to. You and Hunk could make Earth and Altean dishes, and everyone could get dressed up and we could all dance the night away. Perhaps we could even invite the paladins' families!"

For the first time that night, Coran's face split into a genuinely happy smile. His mind was still muddled with homesickness and fatigue, but Allura's suggestion gave him something to look forward to. He could make his favorite home dishes to share with everyone, and the thought of dancing with Allura to both Altean and Earth music (he was sure the paladins would insist on it) was more than enticement enough. Even if just for one night, he could be home again.

"Sounds like a party for all time," he mused fondly.

"Oh, it will be," she declared. "Promise me, Coran, that we'll have this victory party?" She stopped dancing, causing him to stop as well, and gazed deeply into his purple eyes.

Coran stared back, a lump forming in his throat. She looked so hopeful, so _confident_ in Voltron's success right then that there was no way he could deny her. "I promise," he nearly whispered back, giving a quick, affirming nod.

Even though it wasn't his place to accept or deny things like this, Allura still launched herself into his arms as if he'd just given her the universe. He held his ground, wrapping his arms around her back to hold her in a protective embrace, his fingers resting against her hair.

"Thank you, Coran," she mumbled into his shoulder.

He thought he heard her sniff back tears. He guessed that they were happy, or at least hopeful tears, but he still tilted his neck to place a reassuring kiss along the top of her head.

The night had begun with so much heartbreak for Coran, things that could never be healed in a million years. Nothing could ever bring back King Alfor, or Altea. Nothing could change the fact that he was one of only two of his kind left in the universe.

But then Allura had found him here on the bridge, and she had let him spill his feelings out to her, even though he was _her_ advisor. She'd given him a much-needed shoulder to cry on, and in turn, they'd ended up comforting each other. She'd made him hurt a little bit less.

Coran rested his head against hers and watched planets swirl past behind her.

"No, thank _you_ , Princess."

* * *

 _Man, I'm pretty sure this is my quickest turnaround from joining a fandom to writing fanfic for it. But the point is, watching_ Voltron _was like love at first sight. It leaves me speechless in a brilliant way and only reasserts my love of space._

 _As for this fic, it came to me because Coran needs some love and comfort, too! I love that guy so much, and it saddens me there's not more Coran-centric stuff! So, here, have a fluffy, hurt/comfort Coran fic. It's set right after "Crystal Venom."_

 _Note: I was heavily inspired by Michael Jackson's_ Thriller _outtake, "For All Time," while writing this. I think it's very fitting for Coran and Allura, yeah?_


End file.
